At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're too hungover to prance.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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