im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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