ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
