so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize