You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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