highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
