If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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