The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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