i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize