I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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