I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize