Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
