i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
