This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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