careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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