Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
