my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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