new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
