then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
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after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
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Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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