everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize