Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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