I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
