Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
