He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
