i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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