I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
