Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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