He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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