Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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