Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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