too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
