i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
