Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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