Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize