So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
