she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
