I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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