yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
