I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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