so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Do vagina's smell?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
