im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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