I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
