Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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