How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
