She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Drake has all the answers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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