At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I party with great urgency now.
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