Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
