I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
