I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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