Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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