Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
