oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
