Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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