I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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