so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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