we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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