i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize