fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
