if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
