If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this boner is exhausting
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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