How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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