I just cut my nipple shaving
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
