come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
50% drunk capacity currently
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
