there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
