You're so nebulous sometimes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
