And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
