i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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