It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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