Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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